Orioles at Minnesota. Opening Day, 2007.

Some thoughts on Opening Day:

1. Gary Thorne’s voice makes everything sound more important.

2. Gary Thorne’s voice, coupled with a noisy sellout crowd at the Metrodome, made tonight’s game sound like a playoff game, which is pretty much the exact opposite of what games at the Metrodome usually sound like. Even actual playoff games.

With that disclaimer out of the way, the Hubert should never be the setting for Opening Day, especially not at night. For decades, the Orioles began their seasons on gorgeous Monday afternoons (well, mostly), in Baltimore, on real grass, with the President throwing out the first pitch. Now, the Nationals exist, and we have to share that privilege with them.

Now, unlike the Palestinians and Israel, I recognize the right of the Nationals to exist. They have their territory; we have ours; we share the Holy County of Howard.

But seriously…the Metrodome? On Opening Day, the most sacred day of the baseball calendar? Couldn’t we start the season in Kansas City? Hell, even the Bronx would be better than the climate-controlled environs of the Metrodome.

Somewhere, Tug McGraw shed a single tear today. Also, I kind of abandoned that Israel metaphor; I'm lazy.

3. Considering how relentlessly I’ve complained about Paul Bako all offseason long, I have to admit that he’s a strangely sympathetic figure.

In the bottom of the fourth inning, Nick Markakis delivered a great throw from right field to nail Justin Morneau by about five feet. It wasn’t even close. However, Morneau, a former hockey player, delivered a Brashear-like hit on Bako, attempting to knock the ball loose.

I’m happy to report that Bako took it like a man. He took it like Ray Fosse. Even, dare I say, like Buck Martinez – who happened to be doing the color for the O’s TV broadcast. Not only did Bako hang onto the ball to record the out and save a run, but he also stoically resisted when home plate umpire Joe West ordered Bako to bandage his bloody chin. (Admittedly, it wasn’t smart for Bako to lean into the tag with his chin in the first place.)

Bako was also shown on camera kibbutzing with Leo Mazzone while the O’s hit; after three years of matinee idol Javy Lopez, it’s nice to have, now, two catchers who care about their defensive duties.

That said, he’ll have to do better than one passed ball (and another that wasn't called) and one horrid throw to second base that almost sailed into center field. When you sport a career .629 OPS, you had better the bastard child of Johnny Bench and Ivan Rodriguez with the glove.

4. John Parrish’s slider and fastball looked vicious tonight. His could be the best arm in a pretty deep Oriole bullpen. He seems to have finally found some control. Watch out.

5. Erik Bedard’s stuff was good tonight, but his location was sub par (hence, the two home runs). He needs to keep his fastball down.

That said, the pitch-calling was suspect tonight. The lefty slugger Morneau crushed a very good down-and-away fastball for an opposite-field home run. So why was the next pitch a straight fastball, right over the plate, to Torii Hunter? Shocking: another home run. I thought Bedard used his straight fastball too much tonight; his cut-fastball and curveball were working very nicely, and the Twins quite obviously had a game plan of swinging at the first fastball they saw. If they’re looking for a fastball, give them a curve. Not that complicated, guys.

6. MASN just showed the legendary 1983 highlight of Tippy Martinez picking off three Blue Jays in the same inning! With Lenn Sakata catching! MASN has also run promos promising broadcasts of classic college basketball games. Plus, again, Gary Thorne, who I thoroughly enjoyed tonight. Even the God-awful jingle Comcast Sports Net used to use for Orioles games appears to be gone forever.

I think I’m going to like the MASN era. It finally feels like the Orioles are being covered by professionals again. Now, if we could only get rid of Jim Hunter…

7. I can’t wait until my roommate moves out. I gave up the TV so he could watch the NCAA Championship game, which is lame enough, but then he didn’t even watch the damn thing, as usual! He just sits there playing on his computer and talking to his girlfriend. Did you really need the TV for that, bro-han?

8. I love seeing new players in their new uniforms for the first time. Aubrey Huff looks like he should always have been an Oriole. Jay Payton doesn’t. Paul Bako still looks like a Death Row inmate slowly slicing his last pork chop (just trust me on this; I couldn't find photo evidence). Paul, you get paid almost $1 million to hit worse than most NL pitchers; would it kill you to crack a smile, or at least betray some basic sign of human emotion?

9. Did Corey Patterson really hit an RBI double against two-time A.L. Cy Young winner Johan Santana? He even took a few pitches! Strange things are afoot at the Circle K.

10. Haha! Freddie Bynum is pinch-hitting for Bako against nasty Minnesota closer Joe Nathan. What was the point of that, Sam? I think Bako already knows he can’t hit; no need to rub it in his face by replacing him with someone who’s almost as pathetic a hitter as he is! “Sorry, Paul, but we'd rather go with Freddie’s .762 OPS in practically non-existent Major League experience than your well-established record of sucking horribly.”

Nice call on that bench, Sammy.